Communicating (Autism)

I love twitter but I don’t have that ability to say honestly how am
I with it.

I struggle to say I’m tired, I’m down, I’m struggling, I can’t talk or that I’m overloaded or out of my comfort or I don’t need this or that.

Sometimes I think I have too much of a filter, I’m saying nothing when I should say something.

I don’t want sympathy or any sort of validation, I’d want to be understood and listened to, but not given a pat on the head.

Blogging works for me. Small moans and groans don’t. I’m not sure what to do otherwise. Maybe I should look as to how I can sort this out. A little at a time.

How can I make this work, even on a day to day basis.

It works on a bigger level with parts of my family, I can’t get across regrets and the times my abilities failed me and led to conflict/stress and problems. Those failures follow me and as much as I try to keep them away, they are there.

We’re given to be told autistic people aren’t emotional. I know I have a facade that’s grumpy or dour. I don’t like being that person but it helps, just lets me get through. Particularly the verbal stuff and how difficult it is.

Oh to talk, oh to get unburdened?

Not today.

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