Thursday 8 October.

A week where I’ve had much to think about.

I’ve had to deal with waking on Sunday to a cold/flu virus and feeling utterly lousy, Monday was as bad and apart from a run to the pharmacy was a equally horrible day.

Tuesday marked 2 years since my mother, Joan, died. I can’t express how I felt and what was in my head all day. Simply put, I miss her.

Wednesday was necessary. A doing day. 

Today, I suppose was positive. An early start, things to do and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts.

Tomorrow brings Friday, a day closer to my son’s birthday and another date and reason to be glad.

I think all in all, it’s one of those weeks to consider and see and think and do.

 I have grieved, I know the loss, the emotion and feelings and memory and love that goes with all that. I think she’d have told me to accept, remember, but keep going for myself and the kids.

I will celebrate his birthday, he’s a splendid chap, a fine fellow, my friend, my buddy. We have hot chocolate, he likes cake bars, he’s smaller than me but knows how to get me off a sofa by joining me on it.

I’m in the middle of these things. I’m sniffing, sneezy and coughing, I’m remembering and I’m thinking of my wee man’s birthday.

I saw ‘Day of the Doctor’ again this week.

The Doctor: [voice over] Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. 

“Of course I dream,” I tell her, “Everybody dreams”. 

“But what do you dream about?” she’ll ask. 

“The same thing everybody dreams about,” I tell her, “I dream about where I’m going.” 

She always laughs at that. “But you’re not going anywhere, you’re just wandering about”.

That’s not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. 

My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone’s. 

It’s taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but, at last, I know where I’m going, where I’ve always been going: Home, the long way ’round.

Maybe, I need to say I’m going back on that sort of path, where I’m going…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s