A week where I’ve had much to think about.
I’ve had to deal with waking on Sunday to a cold/flu virus and feeling utterly lousy, Monday was as bad and apart from a run to the pharmacy was a equally horrible day.
Tuesday marked 2 years since my mother, Joan, died. I can’t express how I felt and what was in my head all day. Simply put, I miss her.
Wednesday was necessary. A doing day.
Today, I suppose was positive. An early start, things to do and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts.
Tomorrow brings Friday, a day closer to my son’s birthday and another date and reason to be glad.
I think all in all, it’s one of those weeks to consider and see and think and do.
I have grieved, I know the loss, the emotion and feelings and memory and love that goes with all that. I think she’d have told me to accept, remember, but keep going for myself and the kids.
I will celebrate his birthday, he’s a splendid chap, a fine fellow, my friend, my buddy. We have hot chocolate, he likes cake bars, he’s smaller than me but knows how to get me off a sofa by joining me on it.
I’m in the middle of these things. I’m sniffing, sneezy and coughing, I’m remembering and I’m thinking of my wee man’s birthday.
I saw ‘Day of the Doctor’ again this week.
The Doctor: [voice over] Clara sometimes asks me if I dream.
“Of course I dream,” I tell her, “Everybody dreams”.
“But what do you dream about?” she’ll ask.
“The same thing everybody dreams about,” I tell her, “I dream about where I’m going.”
She always laughs at that. “But you’re not going anywhere, you’re just wandering about”.
That’s not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination.
My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone’s.
It’s taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but, at last, I know where I’m going, where I’ve always been going: Home, the long way ’round.
Maybe, I need to say I’m going back on that sort of path, where I’m going…
