A chance to go out (autism)

I’ve been invited to a birthday party. It’s nice to be asked and I’m grateful for the invitation. The kids are away doing stuff, so I could make it.

But, I’m struggling just now in terms of mood and depression.

I’ve not really been in social contact with people for at least 2 years. I haven’t been at the Aspergers coffee group in at least 6 months, I haven’t drunk alcohol since Christmas.

I’d like to go, I’d like to be amongst people, but I’m scared and worried and just don’t think I can.

I’ve had some bad news recently and I am stretched to the bone financially.

I worried about clothes and what to wear the other week, clothes are generally work-a-day or for the prospect of dealing with the kids.

I know I need to do socialisation stuff and to try, but I’m worried on that too.

Maybe just unfortunate timing, maybe just not on the right point of the curve, maybe I can’t do these things anymore.

In likelihood I won’t do it and it’ll be me, the dog and reading the Twitter feed on Saturday night. 

I’ll regret it and I’ll be sad over it, but I can’t wave a wand at myself and I can’t guarantee that I’d cope.

Meh and double Meh, I suppose.

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