The daft stuff (Autism)

So, I hurt my ankle two weeks ago.

I was walking the doodle and he pulled me when he saw another dog. I sort of momentarily stood on his paw, he yelped, but was the wrong side of me in terms of  his lead.

I later walked to town, I wanted stuff. I got a bus, got shopping, walked to a coffee shop..

So that was me, I had a Saturday to myself, determined to use it, but whacked my ankle.

No bruising, just a bit swollen and likely as much my leg muscles with stepping up and off where I thought the dogs paw was.

I live on the second floor, my train station is elevated and I need to go up two flights, I have two separate bits of walking to work, each usually ten minutes.

I’m a reasonably decent walker usually, not too slow, I’ve worked on my coordinaton over the years and I try not to be too bad.

But, a limp. 

Out of whack, a bit crap, stairs. Goodness stairs. 

Yeah, and being slower and being less steady, and feeling my age and the weight I’ve put on from giving up smoking and it’s all there.

The physical feeds to the mental, it’s not mind over matter as usual, and it’s not the aspie focus to try and pass as normal and it’s not the determined effort to be alright.

So all that, feeling a bit rubbish despite pushing myself.

So, from okay to not okay, every step a bit sore and my head sort of knowing and noticing and feeling it. 

In background, blaming myself for stupidity, knowing I should rest it when pressing on.

So, daft stuff, the mental and physical stuff, coordination and just plain discomfort. I’ve not said pain as it’s a nuisance but I’m not feeling sore and I’m not needing paracetamol. 

But I want normal back, my movement, walking pace, balance, coordination.


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