Trying to get help

I have the GP Doctor tomorrow, my gateway to health services..

I’m apprehensive. I melted down last time I was there.

I was upset, angry, annoyed. I found lower prescription doses and had near ran out of the antidepressant I was on.

So I’m dreading it. But I need help. I was at the edges for a while, I thought I could just find a way, but I guess I couldn’t.

Some days, I guess autopilot and need to do helped. I know about needing my things, needing sleep, needing something else.

I think I get somewhere by keeping going. I know it had a cost. I think I’ve paid my price. I’ve given my due.

I want…

Maybe not to feel as..

Maybe not to..

Maybe to be..

Sometimes to be..

I know myself. I disappoint myself.

I’m scared. I think I need to get help and taken seriously and have just that bit of help.

Not chemicals. Not different drugs.

I don’t know what else to say. I don’t know what I can do without just asking for a bit of help.

That’s it. I haven’t much more. I just need to get through.

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