‘A man is no-one, a man has no name.’ I’m misquoting Faceless Man Jacquen H’gar from Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire probably.
I think right now, I am feeling that other-less. I stopped looking at the apps that I said I would. I’m still me, but how and why and about what I’m not sure.
What I want and how I get there is up for question and beyond work and parenting, I’m not sure.
Not knowing or ‘I don’t know’ is okay.
I knew I really wasn’t getting anywhere or doing anything useful before, but equally I wasn’t doing any harm. Possibly only to myself.
So, right now, maybe the state of balance isn’t really anything. Maybe it’s a case of getting on with it and accepting that it is what it is.
I haven’t written in a while. I haven’t known how I felt or what I wished to articulate. I didn’t know and maybe for a while I still won’t.
A constant state of uncertainty maybe has a scientific term or whatever but the balance for me psychologically is just being and keeping going.
And yes, I can’t wait to see the next season of GoT in April.