So here it is..

.. Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun..’

Slade – Merry Christmas Everyone 1973.

Ten or so days to go.

I’ve never usually been Christmassy, was never my thing and a product of having a birthday really near Christmas.

It was Lyndie’s thing and she’d pack away Disney ornaments for the tree on Summer visits to Disneyland Paris.

For me, differing stages, the wonder as a kid, adulthood and another thing at the same time of year as New Year and my Birthday. Then being a parent to my daughter and sons.

I’m Scottish. Hogmanay and New Year is our thing. Christmas has became a thing over my lifetime and as far as I know even up to the mid 1970s in Scotland, men in particular would work the morning as a half day. You can internet search on that with the device you’re reading on.

Our feelings about Christmas are a product of our society, family and relationships. It’s a common, but also different experience for everyone and although adverts and the Christmas genre of movies sell us a vision of it all, it’s what you recall, remember and experience that matters.

So, I was meh at best until the kids came along, but so do other pressures, financial, social and domestically.

As I said, my late wife loved Christmas, she was the Christmassy one and more social than me, so it was about family and seeing people and giving and in amongst that, a few of my weaknesses together with circumstances with my own parents and siblings.

Now as a widower, I’ve had to relearn a few things. Taking myself away from how I’d naturally feel did my kids.

To explain and I’ve written before about it, My Birthday is in the days between Christmas and New Year. December is my birthday month and I’d say to the kids, ‘Yay it’s dad’s birthday month’ to get boo’d at.

Christmas always overshadowed and that’s just my experience without getting into joint birthday/Christmas cards and presents.

So I’m on my fourth as a sole parent. The first was three months after we lost Lyndie. Neither myself or the boys were up for it, so no tree/decorations, but presents and dinner and chocolates and treats.

The year after I got a natural tree (messy) and some of Lyndie decorations and we had some lights outside and more of an effort.

Last year was similar although I bought an artificial tree to make things easier.

In the past few years I’ve even watched the Netflix Christmas movies and enjoyed some of them. I’ve been watching The Santa Clauses this year.

There’s no right or wrong way to do it, I’ll marvel at the efforts I see in terms of trees and decoration that others do and I’ll also find it funny seeing Christmas trees up in November or people getting excited as soon as Halloween is over.

It’s an emotional time, it has its pressures, I certainly didn’t like the financial strain when I was on my own and separated.

I think seeing people go to Christmas events is a mixed feeling and there’s some very good things in Scotland and the Glasgow area.

Some of that is reluctance to drag the kids out to things and some of it is my own reticence about Christmas too and it’s figuring out what they’d like and what to do.

I don’t look in envy when I see pictures of Christmas events, it’s maybe a little that I’m on a slightly different path and couple things obviously aren’t really for me and it’s fine to see others enjoy themselves.

Yeah that all takes a little work and thinking and feeling through things and much of that happened that first Christmas without Lyndie and trying to figure a lot of conflicting feelings out.

I take myself out the equation, I know I have to buy for myself a present from the kids and I take it from there, the kids, family and whatever else.

I’m nearly there on presents, I have food and shopping days to figure out and the tree will go back up in the next few days.

It’s not hard to do, but finding that motivation sometimes and getting going and figuring presents and choices and what to do.

So, it’s here soon, nothing to dread, nothing to fear. I’m not disrespecting Lyndie by doing things differently and I won’t upset or annoy or whatever anyone else.

The main thing is the kids for them to enjoy their break from school and our time together.

December Birthday Month.

It’s my birthday month.

So, I drop eldest at school, Christmas tree and decorations up.

Yep it’s started, that overshadowing event.

For most people, it’s Christmas all the way..

For me, it’s that thing before my birthday as I was born in the days in between Christmas and New Year.

So, as a kid, the ‘that’s for your Christmas and Birthday’ schtick is real and a bit horrible.

Christmas Cards with ‘Happy Birthday Too!’.

The wish my birthday was in May, June, July instead.

It’s human nature, pressures of Christmas and then ‘oh no, little x has a birthday then too!!’, two presents to think about instead of one.

Even when older, ‘birthday drinks’ between Christmas and New Year can put some people off, especially if there’s also a weekend after Christmas Day.

So, it’s a bit of grumping, a bit of meh at the idea of Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong it could be worse and be an actual birthday on the day.

I could post on Facebook that ‘Yay, it’s my birthday month!’ for the lead balloon responses.

I get it, Christmas is the biggie, it’s the thing some seem to live for, the sparkle, the magic.

It also places a burden on those struggling to make ends meet, to those with depression and other issues. Forced happiness, ‘don’t ruin Christmas’ etc etc.

The stresses and strains of this time of year are real. Economic crises and cost of living issues will make it tough in 2022 for everyone.

Retailers lead the way with how they advertise and promote Christmas, it’s been in the shops and stores for weeks now. Signs and banners, the aisle with wrapping paper and decorations, the displays with chocolate gift boxes for kids.

They wouldn’t do it if they didn’t think the demand was there.

For me, it’s a struggle, I want my kids to enjoy their Christmas but it overshadows my life event. Always has.

So, there’s a bit of going through the motions for me. A bit of, I know I have to and some moments of disappointment in my memories.

So, if you have a child relative with a birthday before or after Christmas, make sure they get a Birthday and Christmas card, make sure they get a birthday and Christmas present. Think what you’d get them if it was, say August and be mindful that us people with December births want the same nice experience that people have at other months of the year.

Anyways, back to thinking Christmas presents and what’s needing doing..